Okay kiddies. Unka Billy's been taking a break for a while. Hard to be 'Off On A Rant' when the world just kept being a wonderful place to live. Been healthy and happy and just completely beyond letting anything set me off ... Until today ...
So ... I'm standing in my kitchen, looking out at the serene waters of The Bay, having a cup of coffee. The wind is buffeting the water, creating amazing patterns ... sparkling ripples on the surface ... Deer are hanging out on the peninsula opposite my dock ... Then I get a text message from lead guitarist and brother-like friend Jimmy Williams.
He's at Walmart.
He's pissed.
Here's why:
He was spending his morning putting together a gift package for someone ... Some exotic tobacco, a bottle of brandy and a box of 9mm ammo ... A traditional gift of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms related items. In some circles, mine included, such a gift says a lot. Jimmy's choice of caliber ammo was predicated on the caliber of firearm the recipient owned. Here's the thing ...
Apparently ... At Walmart, you can buy .38 cal ... .22 cal ... .44 cal ... .45 cal ... 12 gauge shells etc. etc. etc. without any special permits. I can dig it.
BUT ... Don't you fuckin' dare try to buy 9mm ammo without a pistol permit.
It's not a state law.
It's not a local statute.
There hasn't been a rash of 9mm shootings in the area. (It's the East End of friggen Long Island. There has NEVER been a rash of shootings here of ANY kind or caliber.)
Nope.
It's store policy.
Yah. Me too. I know. WTF?
It's not like they require a pistol permit for ALL pistol ammo. If that was store policy, I could see it. It's not like they are targeting assault weapon ammo, because you can buy .223 and 7.62x39 NATO Designated rounds without a pistol permit. Just some arbitrary asshole somewhere in the Walmart chain of command, decided he or she didn't like 9mm ammo I guess.
So ... What next?
"I'm sorry sir. You need to show us a medical exemption card if you want to buy boxer-briefs. Ma'am ... You can't buy an under wire bra unless you can show me your certified pole dancer I.D. ... Hey kid! Get away from the Hip Hop section of the music department ... You're white!"
Since when has Walmart been the watchdog for American wholesomeness? Have you been in a Walmart at three in the morning? It's like perusing the freak section at a carnival. And half the people that work there, put together in a room, would look like a casting call for "Deliverance, Part 2, Return To Incest Ridge" ... I swear I hear banjo music every time I go in that place.
I know.
Now you're pissed too.
You can clearly see how an institution that has long provided us with cheap Twinkies and giant plastic jugs of fruit punch, has become the same institution that has decided to interpret the Second Amendment of the US Constitution for those of us who are too ignorant to interpret it for ourselves. Yes ... Walmart knows better than us. They apparently know better than the governing bodies of our country as well, because THEY now decide what you can or can't buy, regardless of state law or local statute.
So ... You're thinking, 'What can we do?"
Well ... Do what you want. This is America.
As for me, I'm boycotting Walmart. I'm not setting another foot inside that slack-jawed yokel infested Nazi-run shithole ever again. I'll go across the street to Target or to Kmart or ANYPLACE else to spend my hard-earned dollar. I've got enough people telling me what I can or can't do. I'm not taking it from a place that fosters such ridiculous and blatant violations of the rights given to us as American Citizens.
'Nuff said.
Thanx for spending a little time with me.
I appreciate it.
