Oh Christmas Tree

So ... Yesterday was Sunday, December 4th. I needed to pick up a few things in town, so off to Riverhead I went. Traffic on the way there was normal for a Sunday. A bit congested, but nothing out of the ordinary. I bought groceries and a few necessary odds and ends. Then ... The drive home ...

I live in Cutchogue, New York. To get from Riverhead to Cutchogue, one must drive through an area that is peppered with vineyards, wineries, farm stands and ... wait for it ... Christmas Trees Farms! The area is peaceful ... serene ... People are courteous. They drive on their side of the road. They slow down and allow others to enter traffic. They go when the light turns green. They stop when it turns red. They drive somewhere near the speed limit. The yards are large and well kept. It is a lovely place to live. BUT ...

As I drove, it became obvious to Kat and I (Kat is my fiance') that the Christmas Tree crowd had once again descended upon our little slice of paradise. The roof of every third vehicle or so had at least one Christmas tree strapped to it. People were swerving and crossing the center line that separates east and west-bound traffic. People were cutting each other off. When stop lights turned green, it seemed that whoever was at the front of the line of cars had better things to do than press the accelerator. Cars from the crossing thoroughfares ran red lights and practically dared each other to hit one another. It was the invasion of the Citiots! (Pronounced sittiots. The word is a hybridization of city dwellers and idiots. We on the East End use it to describe those who venture here from New York City)

Now ... Don't get me wrong. There are many businesses in our neck of the woods that derive a great deal of their business from Citiots. It's amazing what they will pay for a home baked apple pie ($16) or a bottle of locally produced wine ($36) or farm fresh produce. They show up and gobble the stuff up. They'll pay $12 for a pint of raspberries at a farm stand when they could go to the local grocery store and buy the same raspberries, grown in the same field, for $3. It's amazing. All Summer, it's the farm stands. In Fall it's pumpkin pickers and people buying decorative corn stalks. And now, in December, it's the Christmas Tree crowd. They bring much needed revenue to our area. Unfortunately, that's not all they bring. They bring the driving habits of the New York City sect.  It makes life for those of us who just want to get home from work or run errands, absolute hell. I've had to sit in stop and go traffic down stretches of road that are normally free flowing traffic. I've spent two hours making a drive home from work that normally takes 45 minutes. I've had people bring their vehicle to a dead stop in the middle of the road while they point out a really cool looking house to their passengers. I've been stuck behind people doing 31 miles an hour in a 55 mile an hour zone for miles. They act more like they are driving through a friggen safari park than a neighborhood. It is down right maddening.

Sooooo ... Just in case any Citiots are reading this, here's something of a plea from those of us who fall victim to your visits to our little slice: While you're out here, take a look around. Try to remember that you are no longer in the Big Apple. There is no hustle. There is no bustle. If you see something cool, pull the hell over and THEN take some time to look at it. USE YOUR FRIGGEN GPS. If you don't have one, BUY one. PLAN out your trip a little before you leave home. Use your turn signal. Drive somewhere NEAR the speed limit. Be courteous to your fellow motorist. If you see a farm stand up ahead that you want to visit, start slowing down BEFORE you decide to turn in. Slamming on your breaks in a 50 mile an hour zone and making a break-neck turn is a bad idea. Enjoy yourself, but try not to do so by pissing off EVERYONE else you get near.

Okay ... Sorry ... Had to get that off my chest.

Thanx for spending a little time with me.
I appreciate it.
Billy