Okay ... I didn't check my email for 2 days. Then today, I find 246 new emails in my SPAM folder. Some of the stuff in there was bearable ... Work from home schemes ... Various adverts from people trying to earn my business ... But SOME of the emails I find there on a daily basis ... Well, it's just plain silly. I am a white, middle-aged, male. But for some reason, I get emails in my SPAM folder that are clearly aimed at a different demographic. "View pics of single black men in your area!" ... "Dinner at Denny's, ON US!" ... Really? Okay ... Sure ...There are white guys my age who would love to see pics of single black guys in their area ... So maybe that objection is a slight stretch. But ... there isn't a Denny's restaurant within 100 miles of my house. And in response to some of the other emails ... I CAN'T qualify for a loan from the WSBA (Women's Small Business Association). I DON'T want a Snuggie (When I was a kid, a "snuggie" consisted of having your tighty whiteys yanked up the crack of your butt by a bully). I'm not OLD enough for an AARP membership. I know for a FACT that UPS ISN'T holding a package for me! I have a friggen phone. I CALLED them! My ass doesn't itch. I don't HAVE acne. I can't possible have veteran's benefits coming to me ... I was never in the military. It's Facebook NOT F*ckbook. I don't give a SHIT what my tarot cards say and for the love of GOD do NOT send me a free sample of herbal friggen douche!!!!!
It's offensive enough getting these emails. But seeing how evident it is that NO research went into targeting any specific demographic by the senders makes it that much worse. It tells me that the advertiser at the other end places little value on their own time and even less on mine.
Aaaaaand ... It shouldn't be called SPAM.
SPAM is a delightful canned meat. As a child I enjoyed many a fried SPAM sandwich on toast with butter. Chopped and fried with eggs, potatoes and a little cheese, it makes an awesome breakfast scramble. It was the subject of an insanely funny skit on Monty Python's Flying Circus. This email crap that keeps polluting my inbox is just that ... CRAP. Same number of letters. Takes up the same amount of space ... I wonder if there is a way to re-name my SPAM folder so that is says "CRAP" instead ....
Anyway ... Thanx for reading.
I appreciate it.
Billy
I think your blog is most funny when I read it; probably because I can actually see you saying the stuff in my minds eye. One thing I have considered doing is: when I receive a "pre-approval" with a pre-paid postage, fill it up with all the junk you can seal in it and send it back! They will be forced to pay the postage on the receiving end and perhaps stop wasting their efforts and cash on CRAP mail.
ReplyDeleteLove it, LOVE it, LOVE IT!! EVERYBODY sit up and pay attention! This is an awesome idea. Anthony ... I think you're onto something. If everyone who reads this post does what Anthony does, it could actually change something that has been annoying so many for so long! Thanx Anthony!
ReplyDeleteNo problem, anytime! We just started doing it last week!
ReplyDelete